I had my first migraine headache when I as eight years old, by first I mean the first time I had to be given a shot to get rid of it. Prior to that I was taking percacet.

Now I am coming up on 42 and I still have headaches nearly daily. My brain has been mapped better than Mars has. It is amazing how each bad migraine they want to do a CT or a CT with contrst dye.

My nerologist told me to refuse another one unless something different happened. I brought him seven CT scans, with contrast dye. All taken at the same hospital and he said just tell them to give you the shot and no you don't have tumor. Stop wasting film.

That was nice so, now I am on a first name basis with most of the doctors at the ER and they can tell how long I will need a bed depending on if I come in with my sunglasses, walker or wheel chair or amubulate in on my own. We don't even bother doing the regualar exams now.

Ok Beth honey is it the same as usual, Yes it is the same we honey we'll get you a shot and see if that helps. A pat and the nurse shows up with the two needles one for phenergan and the other for demadrol. 20 miniutes later. Well honey are you better, if I say yes I get to go home if I say no I get two more shots of the same. So I answer honestly. And I get two more shots.

Well this one particular day last year the second set of shots didn't work. So the doc ordered a shot of morphine. The nurse had discharge papers with the shot. Now I came in with a pain level of 7.5 and after the morphine shot it was up to a 9. The were trying to get me into a wheel chair and send me home.

I refused to go. So they called my doc and he said to admit me. FYI my bp was 177/110. So on to the floor I went. I was hooked up to a morphine pump and after four self doses I began itching all over. I looked in the mirror and saw a rash. I was having breathign problems. I rang for the nurse and I got an aide. I told her I was having breathing problems and was breaking out. I laid down in the bed and lost a concept of time.

I heard and felt my husband trying to wake me. I don't know how long I had laid there. The nurse showed up and he asked her if it was normal for my lips to be that color? She answered with well what color are the normally? He said well not BLUE. What are her O2 stats. I kept trying to talk to him but did not have the ability to make my mouth move. I felt bascially parlyzed. They were all patting on me when the respitory therapist came in and said OMG her O2 sats are at 62 we have to get her into ICU now. The wheeled my in to the room and all the while my husband was holding my hand. I felt as if his had was the only thing keeping me from going on. I was okay with that.

That was the weirdest part. I knew I was dying because I couldn't breathe, but instead of a panic attack like with an asthma attack it was so peaceful and I was fine with this. Until I got into ICU and they took Michael away. Then I started to panic. I needed him there. I needed his strength to help me hold on. I was having a sever allergic reacation to the morphine.

Since I am here we know I stayed. I never was really given a choice. I needed to stay and here I am.

It took me several months to feel normal again in my body. I still have days when I don't feel right in my body. It feels lonely or empty in here. Like something is missing. I know that it is not, execpt for that peace that I felt. I know that when my time comes it will be so peaceful for me as this experience was.

So all of you with and NDE chime in.

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine had her sister, two of her sister's children and her sister's boyfriend brutally murdered.

At the time we didn't know why. My mother told her it was not her fault and that if they were still living with her maybe all of them would be dead now.

My friend felt that it was her fault as she made her sister move out because she wanted her boyfriend to stay with her in my friend's house. Well my friend and her husband are members of the church and it is against our religion and they felt it was important to set the example of marriage for the couple.

Shortly before they moved in together, the boyfriend had been approached by his employer to help his set one of his business on fire for the insurance. The boyfriend declined. He was threatened with being killed if he didn't help. He still refused and quit. He found a different job.

As life goes, my friend's husband is a police officer. After talking with the girlfriend they decided to go to the brother in law. From there they went to Arpio and told him the story. The place was staked out and when it was burned they had pictures of him doing it. He was arrested and charged with intent to defraud an insurance company and with arson.

Well this man knew who had told and put out a hit. That was carried out. The man, the girlfriend, the 13 year old and the 10 year old were all killed execution style.

Sherrif Arpio is making this promise to the killer. "We know who you are and we know you are running. You had better keep running because if I catch you I will make sure you spend as much time as I can keep you in my jail until you are excuted."

I am sure this one will end up on AMW. John Walsh really hates child murders and molestors. So if you all would please watch for the episode to come up. Please help find this vicious man.

He had no compunction killing four people just because they did the right thing. He has surely done it before and just has not gotten caught. These kinds of things don't just evolve like that. He was clearly sending a message to the community and the community has Sherriff Joe on their side. Wrong man to mess with.

Beth.

Recently an attack on the Temples of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints came under attack by a member of the blogstream community.

I want to say that as a member of the Church and a Temple attending member I am confident that I am able to set the record straight from a person who left the church and has many problems with the Church.

To address Temples I must first address why we have them.

Temples serve four purposes:

1) To Seal Families together for Eternity.
2) To Give the opportunity to the dead, who didn't have that opportunity in life, to be baptised.
3) To Perfect the Saints.
4) THEY ARE THE HOUSE OF THE LORD

I will address the last first. We believe that we are commanded to become perfect even as Heavenly Father and Christ are perfect.

Gen. 17:1 ...walk before me, and be thou perfect. Deut. 18:13 Thou shalt be perfect with the Lord thy God. 1 Kings 8:61 Let your heart therefore be perfect with the Lord. Matthew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect.

Ephesians 4:11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; 12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: 13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ; 14 The we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

We clearly see that we are to become perfect as Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are perfect. We believe that by attending the Temple and performing the vicarious work for the dead that we learn more of the mysteries of God.

Next I will address the concept of an Eternal Marriage. Now it is not foreign in our culture or in other cultures to have an idea of and eternal love. It is only in our churches that we have the concept of till death do we part.

As the concept of an eternal is there for men and women and people inherently know that there is such a love many die together to keep from being seperated, unbeknownst to them that the eternities do not elude us in our marriages. We, as LDS people, are married in the Temple for not just time but we are Sealed for Eternity. We know that our family unit is intact, according to their choices, into the next world. When it is said, Whom God hath joined let no man put asunder; we believe it to be an eternal union.

Lastly I will explain the work done for the dead. We do vicarious work for the dead, as explained as we believe not all people have had the opportunity to accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Now we as the LDS Church have the largest genealogy library in the world. This is to give the opportunity for anyone to use it. Using our library does not mean turning over your records to us for their work to be done in the Temple.

There are very strict rules for Temple ordinances to be performed. First you must be a direct descendant or have permission from a direct descendant to do the work. The person has to have been dead for at least one year. If they have been dead for 108 years then we can do the work without the permission of the family.

So if you research the LDS databases and find that you have a relative that has had this vicarious work done, it would have to have been done by a direct descendant or they have been dead 108 years and someone released the information to our database for the work to be performed. We do not perform work for all of the people in our database. We can only perform the work for those for whom we have been given permission. I have known many people who use our library and chose to not release their records for Temple work. Additionally if work has been done and you are a direct descendant and you want the name removed from the list of Temple ordinances that have been done you can do so. This has happened when someone did the work for Albert Einstein. I don't know the particulars only someone submitted his name who was not a direct descendant and his family had his name removed. I followed this as I am a fourth cousin to him. I still can not do his work as I am not a direct descendant from him, but from his uncle.

For this same reason I can not do the work for my niece, as she is not my child she is my niece. Her mother has to give permission for me to do the work and to date she has not. Now if my sister passes away I am free to do the work if her brother and/or sister agree. Until then her work will remain undone.

Now I want to address the issue of people asking for their work to be done. It does happen. Not that often but it does happen. More often you gather your genealogy and submit the names and do the work yourself, depending on the gender and the number of names you have to do. Since I have nearly 5000 names my husband and I will need help. We have enlisted the help of our ward. It may take us years to do this work, but it will be done. Of those nearly 5000 people only three have asked for their work, my aunt, my niece and my grandfather while he was alive. The other two asked once they were dead, as I mentioned in my previous post.

Now I must explain that we believe in the spirit world, which we believe is four feet above the ground, that there is Paradise and the Spirit Prison. Paradise is where the Saints go. All of the saints who died in Christ while believing his true gospel. The rest go to the Spirit Prison. Both are awaiting Judgement Day for the determination of where they will spend eternity. We believe this to be one of four places:

1) The Celestial Kingdom, which is the greatest Kingdom where Heavenly Father will reign.
2) The Terrestial Kingdom, which is the place where the people who were good but did not accept the true gospel or accepted the true gospel, but fell short of what was expected of them.
3) The Telestial Kingdom, which is where the bad people go, those who did evil but did not deny the Holy Ghost.
4) Outer Darkness, which is where Satan and his followers will go and those who deny the Holy Ghost will also be there.

This is how we are all saved by grace, we will not go to outer darkness or Hell if we do not deny the Holy Ghost and become a follower of Satan. People who were not taught anything except for wickedness do have a place in the Kindgoms of Heavenly Father. Not all will be able to go to Him, but the will not be completely cut off from his presence.

Lastly, the membership roles of the church 12,000,000+ do not include the dead. It was suggested by the person who left the church that this is where we get our numbers from. It that were true then we would have many, many more than 12,000,000 people. The 12,000,000 people who are members of our church are on the Church roles and counted every Sunday, in each and every ward and branch. That number is reported to Salt Lake City, UT on a regular basis. We get a report regarding the numbers twice a year in our General Conference. It can be listened to at lds.org or watched on BYU TV every first Saturday and Sunday in the months of April and October. Starting at 10:00 am MST or MDT (UT time) depending on the time of the year.

I want you all to know that when President Gordon Bitner Hinkley was born there were about 20 LDS Temples in the world, when he took over as President of the Church there we just over 50 Temples in the world and as of last count there are over 120 Temples in the world. For a work that is not true, according to our detractors, we sure are spreading like wildfire.

Take care my friends and don't believe everything you read. Pray for yourselves and find out the truth. Beth.

In my life I have encountered many spirits. I have had visitations from dead relatives and from unknown sources. Some of these unknowns have been there for evil purposes and some for good purposes. I know they have been there not just because I felt their presence, but I have seen a few.

The first time I became aware of a communication between a spirit and myself was the first time I attended a meeting at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My sister was a member, and I went with her to find out why suddenly everyone was so upset that my sister who had given birth to four children by four different men and was now choosing the life of Chastity was condemning herself to Hell. Even a mailman at the Waffle House where I worked new what a Mormon was. I had a vague memory of Donnie and Marie, but I watched the Trinity movies and thought all the Mormons were killed off.

Little did I know. Well at that first meeting, the first speaker stood up and she asked all of us to close our eyes and think about a family member who had passed away. So I played along and I closed my eyes and immediately a thought came to my mind of my Aunt Seal, short for Lucille. She was my favorite aunt on my fathers side of the family; however, she passed away when I was eight. I had not really thought of her much at this point in time. I was 22 and a single mom, I didn't have much time to think about anything except for getting by.

After about a minute the woman said okay that person is waiting for you to do their Temple work.

Well I assumed that my sister had thought of the same person. After I joined the church and obtained my Temple Recommend I was determined to do the work for my ancestors. I called my grandfather and asked his permission, he had been a Baptist Minister for 40 years and then switched to a Church of God and remained a minister there until he died. He told me he didn't believe in the Temple work for the dead, but if it would make me feel better I could do it and his and his wife's as well when they passed. I was really shocked, I didn't believe I would get his permission. So I called my sister and told her about the conversation with Granddaddy and told her now we could do Seal's work.

She asked me what I was talking about. I reminded her of that first meeting and she said Aunt Seal was who came to your mind? I said yes didn't she come to yours? She responded with No, mom's mother is who I thought about. I was really suprised by this because by this time, my mother and her oldest sister were members as well and they had just finished the work for their mother, father, sister and brother.

I went and did my aunt's work and I felt her thank me.

In August 1999 I went to the Chicago Temple, as a ward we took the bus and my session finished a little early so I walked around the grounds. I was sitting watching a bee and a butterfly getting the necter from the same flower and I heard someone say my name. I looked around and found myself alone. So I went back to the bee and butterfly thinking that must be how heaven is. No one fights for what they want everyone just shares, it must be wonderful. Then I felt a hand on my arm and heard my niece say in her earthly voice, Bethie its me. I began to cry. I missed her so much, I had spent so much of my life with her, I still miss her. She asked me to do her work when her year was up and to not wait on her mother to do it. She is still waiting as I know that if I do it and don't let her mother do it. My sister will never forgive me. It pains me to know that I have disappointed Alisha, but my sister is her mother and should be the one to do her work. Alisha knew I would not do it, but she had to ask. She has visited me several times in the last few years. Once I was terribly concerned for my daughter and Alisha sat by my bedside and stroked my hair and told me she would be fine.

My other visitors have been from my mother's family. Her mother and grandmother have been with me many times. I woke one morning to see my grandmother holding me and my great grandmother motioning to her that it was time to go. That was the day my husband had been in an accident on the Columbia River Gorge. If he'd have gone to the left instead of the right he would not be here. I never knew either of these women, as both died before I was born. I knew who they were when I described them to my mother.

There are also two distinct odors in my home that don't come from me or my husband. One is lilly of the valley and the other is cigarette smoke. Lilly of the Valley is my mother's mother's favorite flower. She loved the smell and Mom said she would take a single blossom and use it like perfume.

The cigarette smoke started after my two uncles died, my mother's brothers. The first time it happened was when my husband was home and the woman that comes and helps me clean had just cleaned the bathroom. She went outside for a cigarette break and my husband went into the bathroom and came out and said "She was smoking in there." I was sure she hadn't so I went into the bathroom and sure enough there was a strong odor of smoke. So I looked out the bathroom window thinking she was on that side of the house. No so I looked and she was on the other side of our truck having a smoke. Now I knew she didn't smoke back to back cigarettes she may smoke a whole one in the four hours she is here, but never more than that. So I just dismissed it and my husband let it go. Then he went back to work and the smoke smell went with him in the truck. When he came home it came home with him. I told him it had to be one of my two uncles. Because no one else was at home. The next time he went back on the road, the smoke became so strong I couldn't breathe. I said "Okay you two stop it. I can't breathe." The smoke smell went away immediately. Later I discovered that it was my uncle who passed away most recently, because it is just the kind of thing he would do. To go into a place where a smoker had been and have the smell there to see if she would get into trouble. (its the ADHD thing).

I know that my family is watching over me and the rest of us. When my brother in law passed away I heard him call my name before anyone told me he had passed. I knew it was him and I know he wants me to help my sister through this time, I just don't know how.

Well I could go on, but I am sure many of you are skeptical and many of you can relate.

What I also know is that my husband and both of my children see the shadow people on a regular basis. I myself have seen them twice. They are really creepy. It wasn't until my husband and I were talking to my sister (the LDS one) and her oldest daughter that we found out they seem them on a regular basis too.

We each are endowed with a gift from our heavenly father with a special talent. Mine is faith, I simply know, I just don't believe. My husband and my sister have the gift of discernment of spirits. They actually see the people I feel. I am developing this gift, I feel them more than see them. My husband has never been wrong, in the first impression he has of someone. He can meet them once and know if they have a tendency towards the dark side. He also has no qualms telling me about it. My sister does the same but she doesn't trust her feelings and waits to see if she was right. She is afraid of mislabling someone. My husband doesn't like people enough to do that.

Well I'll leave you all to ponder and wonder about me now. Take care. Beth.

I am sick and tired of the weather changes that have taken place. I know in MO that if you don't like the weather wait a couple of hours and it'll change is true, however; having 78 degrees one day for a high and then 40 degrees the next is driving me nuts.

Our poor garlic bulbs have come up six times now over this winter. We have a fifty mile radius more or less around us that has been delcared a severe drought area.

Now between yesterday and Sat. We have the chance to have a) a blizzard; b) tornados; c) heavy rain; and d) none of the above.

How am I supposed to keep my wood pile stocked correctly for these situations. Too much wood and we get spiders and mice. Too little wood and we have to go up the hill in the middle of the night to get more wood in the cold and darkness.

Give me a break. To top it all off, I heard it was George Bush's fault. See all of our bombing in Iraq caused the earth quake last year that caused the tsumami that threw us off our axix a whole degree.

In reality that did happen due to the tsunami and it is coupled with another degree off our axis that was discovered a few years ago because all of the worlds major rivers are damned up. Ergo the crazy weather patterns.

Anyone else out there sick of not knowing how to dress from day to day? I put my winter clothes out and haven't worn them so I put them away. Now I am freezing and am going to have to get them out again.

Do you think we'll have snow in June like they have in MN and WI? Beth.